Why Guild Wars 2 is a big methadone-inspired no no

Living in fear of a crippling addiction is something that until around 8 years ago, only heroin users and heavy drinkers had to deal with.

And this guy, but I refuse to count sex with countless beauties as a crippling addiction. Maybe awesomeness. Can awesomeness be crippling?

But now, we live in a post World of Warcraft world. I want full disclosure. I was addicted as fuck to World of Warcraft.

I used to play an undead mage in vanilla wow. His name was Archancellor and my girlfriend would mercilessly rip into me for playing. 

Nah, just kidding, she wouldn't even look at me if I brought WoW up.

The characters I played evolved through each expansion pack to a warrior tank, then a paladin and finally a priest.

I was basically the ManBearPig of Azeroth.

I ended at Cataclysm. Why? Well, the game had got boring as hell, sure. But the thumbnail sized bedsores I actually had actually on my bum from sitting for hours at a time grinding boars was also a pretty big signal that I should probably get up and do something with my life like climb a mountain or whatever it is tampon adverts tell me is a good way to meet chicks. 

Like learn jazz flute at the beach, I guess.

So why am I offloading this now? Five words: Motherfucking Guild Wars 2, baby (shuddup, motherfucking totally is one word because in this blog I am God). That game looks like it has got it going on. 

The reason WoW is so much more engrossing than anything the Xbox 360 has ever thrown at me is not because it has just enough carrots and sticks (I just need one more token to get that sweet axe!) to keep players glued.

It was the community element. Sure you can spend your day shouting racist, homophobic rants at 13 year olds over Xbox Live, but on WoW you can form meaningful relationships with strangers online.

Pictured: Less meaningful but I'm willing to see where it goes.

So why does this freak me out about GW2? Well, let's see what IGN says about it: 

You expect to see only fields of grazing deer and idle monsters but when you turn the corner, there’s chaos. Crowds crush together, jumping around and blasting spells and swinging huge weapons. You join in, and though all possibility for any real coordination is lost in the frenzy, a sense of community, of belonging, solidifies as everyone strives to destroy a shared target.

Fuck me, that sounds incredible! Hook that shit straight to my veins and let me belong too. Justify me!